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What does the Vedic tradition teach about roles of men and women in marriage? Are there any other religions or traditions that teach the same?
Hello! Thanks for using Wonder to ask about the roles of men and women in marriage, according to Vedic tradition. In short, I have presented you with an overview of the roles men and women are expected to maintain in marriage, according to the Vedic tradition. Additionally, I have discussed other religions which show similar values as the ones explored in Vedism. Below, you will find a deep dive of my findings.
WOMEN IN THE VEDIC TRADITION
The Vedic tradition shows a high level of respect for women and freedoms were extended to them. The protection and safety of women was also seen as very important. A famous Vedic saying goes: “Where women are worshiped, there the gods dwell.” (Source 3) Women were so respected, because the qualities of women were believed to emanate those of the goddesses who were worshiped in the Vedic religion. To revere a woman was to honor a goddess. Thusly, in the early times of Vedism, it was encouraged for a women to pursue spiritual advancement. In Vedic culture, “a woman who is devoted to God is more highly regarded than a man who has no such devotion.” However, these types of views of women eventually “declined due to outside influences; cultural and military foreign invaders.”
MOTHERS AND FATHERS IN THE VEDIC TRADITION
Mothers and fathers in the Vedic tradition were seen teachers and leaders, the mother being of supreme intelligence. Vedic writings state: "The teacher who teaches true knowledge is more important than ten instructors. The father is more important than ten such teachers of true knowledge and the mother is more important than ten such fathers. There is no greater guru than mother."
Furthermore, fathers were expected to honor and adore their daughters, in the same way that all female members of a family were expected to be honored. A family wherein the female members were unhappy was seen as one that would have misfortune. The Manu-samhita, an ancient Vedic legal text, states: "Where the female relations live in grief, the family soon wholly perishes; but that family where they are not unhappy ever prospers. The houses on which female relations, not being duly honored, pronounce a curse, perish completely, as if destroyed by magic. Hence men who seek (their own) welfare, should always honor women on holidays and festivals with (gifts of) ornaments, clothes and (dainty) food."
Additionally, father was expected to raise his daughter in a manner that would someday suit the needs of another family.
MARRIAGE IN THE VEDIC TRADITION
A woman entering a marriage in the Vedic tradition was said to enter her new family "as a river enters the sea." Once married, a woman was expected to rule her family as a queen, alongside her husband. A wedding blessing from the Atharva Veda, a Vedic text, goes as follows: "O bride! May the knowledge of the Vedas be in front of you and behind you, in your centre and in your ends. May you conduct your life after attaining the knowledge of the Vedas. May you be benevolent, the harbinger of good fortune and health, and live in great dignity and indeed be illumined in your husband's home."
In marriage, men and women in the Vedic tradition were expected to operate as a team, and the health and happiness of one was dependent on that of the other. If a married man was not taking responsibility, he was seen as an enemy whose mission was to destroy the life of the woman. Conversely, a woman who was not assisting her husband reach his goals in life was "compared to a tigress; she is drinking his blood."
Vedic tradition mandates that a wife will always be dependent on her husband. If a married woman becomes widowed, she will then have to be dependent on her sons. Additionally, according to Vedic texts, "remarriage after widowhood is impossible. In the rite of suti, the widow is immolated along with her husband’s corpse."
WIVES IN THE VEDIC TRADITION
In Vedism, there were five roles that wives were expected to embody in regards to her relationship with her husband. These roles were dependent on the situation at hand:
-- Wife: The role of a wife is assumed in that a woman helps her husband "maintain his role with the family, his career and success in life."
-- Mother: A wife was expected to behave as a mother towards her husband during times where he was struggling or ill and thusly act as a caretaker.
-- Daughter: If a husband was angry with his wife, then she should be expected to behave obediently, as a daughter would.
-- Sister: A wife would assume a sister-like role in situations where her husband was forgetful and inattentive, in that the woman would remain a peace or indifferent regarding these misgivings.
-- Lover: A wife was also expected to assume the role of lover in the sense that she should behaving charmingly "like a mistress."
HUSBANDS IN THE VEDIC TRADITION
The Laws of Manu offer insights into roles husbands were expected to carry over the course of their lifetimes. These laws show that in Vedic culture, men go through four stages of life, which are called 'ashramas.'
First Stage:
"The first stage is that of the celibate student – the brahmacari – who undergoes the ceremony of upanayana, representing ritual rebirth. He receives the sacred mantra and is invested with the sacred thread (yajnopavita), becomes “twice-born,” and commences study of sacred lore with a guru. Thus the boy’s natural birth from his mother is superseded by a second birth from a man."
Second Stage:
The second stage occurs when a man weds a woman and becomes the head of a household, which is called a 'grihastha.'
Third Stage:
"The stage of the Forest Dweller – vanaprastha – is one of 'retirement' in which a man withdraws to the forest, usually with his wife, and leaves household responsibilities to his son."
Fourth Stage:
"The final stage is that of Renouncer – Sannyasi- and involves 'casting off' or renouncing worldly life, including one’s wife. One breaks all bonds with family and wanders in search of freedom from everything, including dharma."
RELIGIONS WITH SIMILAR GENDER ROLE TRADITIONS
Hinduism: In Hinduism marriage “between two souls is a very sacred affair that stretches beyond one lifetime and may continue up to at least seven lives.” Marriage is created by the gods for the welfare of humans with the primary reason being procreation. The secondary reason is for social order and the Hindu dharma where they have a responsibility towards society, the gods, their ancestors and other living beings. In the Vedic tradition marriage is the means by which “a man perpetuates himself through his progeny. A father extends himself into his future life and also into the next world through his children. In this process he is helped by his wife who bears him children through the sacred union in which there is a transfer of sexual energy (rethas).” In traditional Hinduism, the Hindu scriptures have a clear leadership and superiority of men in relationships. They state that women are to be respected, kept happy and protected. The happiness of one’s household is important for the happiness of one’s family, peace and for growth. They value the role of women in their families and developing the character of their children. However, they suggest “the need to keep women under constant vigilance by their men, since, according to them, women cannot be completely trusted or left to themselves.” The husband is seen as the main upholder of the dharma and the woman as his partner (saha dharma charini) or his complement. One is incomplete without the other, but the man is in the leadership role. ‘The Contemporary Hindu Women of India: An Overview’ states that “Hinduism, as a religion, opposes the fundamental rights of the female clan. The Vedas, Scripture of Hindus is quite hostile to its women no matter what. According to it, women happen to be inhuman and are subject to no primary civil liberties. The society, thus, ignored all kinds of rights owned by the women and thus, in ancient era all led a hopeless life."
Islam: A faithful and pious partner is important for a couple to avoid evil deeds and commit to worship. They are meant to encourage each other. The ideal partner for a man is a "pious spouse who, when she sees him, becomes happy, and protects his property and her own honor in his absence.” A good wife is one that maintains and takes care of her husband’s health and well-being, as well as persuades him towards committing good deeds. "Imam Ali (a.s) stated: 'The Jihad of a woman is to take care of her husband well and any woman who dies while her husband is pleased with her, enters Paradise." It likewise, mentions being a mother to one’s husband when he is ill or has more needs than usual. It recommends silence when one’s husband is angry which is similar to the daughter role mentioned above. In regards to the Hijab it is stated that a husband does not like another man looking at his wife. The suggested benefits to wearing it are: not to be perceived as an object and as such guard inner and self-worth, prove love and faith to spouse, prevents unmarried men from wandering from their path, prevents flirtations, and husbands will not encounter lewd women. There is an aspect of obedience expected in women in regards to management of affairs according Islamic texts: "Men are the maintainers of women because Allah has made some of them to excel others and because they spend out of their money; the good women are therefore obedient.” Additional text states: "A woman asked the Prophet (S) of Allah: 'What is the duty of a woman with regard to her husband?' The Prophet (S) stated: 'She must obey him and must not violate his orders'." Women are responsible for household cleaning and it is considered important a role to maintain. They are permitted and encouraged to work, although the husband’s career is of more value.
Christianity: Like in the previous religions mentioned, Christianity shows a theme of male leadership and management in the role of marriage, but it also stresses the importance of marriage overall. Like all of the religions we have discussed, there is a theme of love and respect for one’s spouse. Biblical text states: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.” A man is to submit to the leadership of Christ and the woman to the leadership of the man. In Genesis, God created Eve to be Adam’s helper: "helper suitable for him" (Gen. 2:18). Ephesians 5:33, Paul said that a woman should respect their spouse.
CONCLUSION
To wrap it up, I have presented you with an overview of the roles men and women are expected to maintain in marriage, according to the Vedic tradition. Additionally, I have discussed other religions which show similar values as the ones explored in Vedism.
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